Elmo & Friends Help Military Families & Young Children Cope With the Challenges of Multiple Deployments and Combat-Related Injuries

Since the launch on April 29, Sesame Street’s Talk, Listen, Connect: Deployments, Homecomings, Changes has had over 120,000 requests for its kit for families.
Military families can request their free kit at www.sesameworkshop.org/tlc.
Sesame Workshop, the non-profit organization behind Sesame Street, launched Talk, Listen, Connect: Deployments, Homecomings, Changes, the second phase of the Workshop’s military outreach program which launched initially in 2006. The initiative provides support and offers significant resources for military families with young children experiencing the effects of deployments, multiple deployments or when a parent returns home changed due to a combat related injury.
The Sesame Foundation developed Talk, Listen, Connect: Deployments, Homecomings, Changes to help military families with young children between the ages of 2-5 build a sense of stability and resiliency during times of separation and change.
Talk, Listen, Connect: Deployments, Homecomings, Changes seeks to:
* Reduce the level of anxiety children may experience during homecomings after multiple deployments
* Help parents with ways to cope with multiple deployments
* Help young children gain an age-appropriate understanding of a parent’s injury by including them and the entire family in the rehabilitation process
* Reassure children that they are loved and secure and that together with their families, they can learn new ways of being there for one another and having hope for the future
“The incredible response and impact Sesame Workshop saw from our initial work with military families and the impact it made, inspired this next phase of Talk, Listen, Connect,” said Gary E. Knell, President and CEO, Sesame Workshop. “With an increasing number of military parents experiencing multiple deployments and a parent coming home injured, more than ever, these families need help navigating the ups-and-downs of these experiences with their children as well as ways to support one another and find resiliency in the face of change. We hope with the help of their friends from Sesame Street they will continue to discover ways they can continue to forge family bonds despite the situations they may encounter.”
According to the Director of the Defense Center of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury U.S., Army Colonel Loree K. Sutton, “This wonderful project by Sesame Workshop demonstrates its long-standing efforts to provide positive development in our children. The Talk, Listen, Connect series is a solid, practical and entertaining learning tool for our military families and will contribute greatly toward psychological health for our troops and their families. What a privilege to work in collaboration with these educational projects that serve those who are serving us.”

The resources consist of a bilingual (English/Spanish) multimedia outreach kit with DVDs for children and adults starring the Muppets from Sesame Street, print materials for children, parents and caregivers and facilitators and American Greeting postcards featuring the beloved Sesame Street characters for parents and children to stay connected. Sesame Workshop will produce and distribute 500,000 kits at no cost to individual families, schools, child care programs, family support programs, hospitals and rehabilitation centers and other organizations serving the needs of military families with the help of Military OneSource, the New York State Office of Mental Health (NYSOMH), the USO (United Service Organizations), the Military Child Education Coalition (MCEC) and other partners. Special emphasis will be made to reach families of the Reserves and National Guard. The kit materials are available online at www.sesameworkshop.org/tlc, where streaming video is being provided by the Department of Defense Military Community and Family Policy Program Support Group, so families everywhere can view the videos and download the information.

About Sesame Workshop: Sesame Workshop is the nonprofit educational organization that changed television forever with the legendary Sesame Street. As the single largest informal educator of young children, local Sesame Street programs produced in countries as diverse as South Africa, Bangladesh and India are making a difference in over 120 nations. Using proprietary research to create engaging and enriching content, Sesame Workshop produces programs such as Dragon Tales and Pinky Dinky Doo. In addition, multimedia needs-driven initiatives provide families tools for addressing such issues as children’s health, military deployment and emergency preparedness. As a nonprofit, product proceeds and philanthropic donations support Sesame Workshop’s educational research and creative content for children around the world. Learn more at www.sesameworkshop.org
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Blackstone Valley Families Wanted

Blackstone Valley Area families can enjoy a picture-perfect summer this year by inviting a Fresh Air child into your home! Close to 5,000 New York City children visit volunteer host families every summer through The Fund’s Friendly Town program in communities from Virginia to Maine and into Massachusetts. Hosting a child does not take much – just a little room in your heart and your home – but the experience creates friendships and memories that will last a lifetime.
“It’s always a special moment when we see our Fresh Air child’s face light up when he experiences something for the first time,” says one host parent.
Residents in and around the Blackstone Valley area can help light up the face of a Fresh Air child this summer by hosting through The Fresh Air Fund.
Bay State Parent magazine did a feature article on the program in its June 2006 issue. To read the article visit: http://www.baystateparent.com/news/2006/0601/Articles/006.html
Since 1877, New York City children growing up in low-income neighborhoods have been able to experience simple summer pleasures in rural and suburban communities. By welcoming visitors into their homes during the summer, host families give Fresh Air children an opportunity to escape the sometimes dangerous, hot and crowded city streets. Fresh Air host families can choose the gender and approximate age of their visitor, but first-time Fresh Air children are between the ages of six and 12. Many families find their hosting experiences so rewarding that more than 65 percent of all children are reinvited to stay with host families, year after year.

For more information on hosting a Fresh Air child, please contact Elaine Melinski at 508-278-3652 or The Fresh Air Fund at 800-367-0003. Also visit The Fund’s Web site at www.freshair.org.

Massachusetts is One of The Best States for Children

Massachusetts is the second best state in the nation for U.S. children, based on a diverse set of 10 child well-being standards, including lack of access to prenatal care, premature deaths, malnutrition, poverty, child abuse and teen incarceration, according to a major new report released by the non-profit and non-partisan Every Child Matters Education Fund.
In revealing a nation that is starkly divided with what are often "deadly differences" in how it treats its youths, the report shows "geography matters" greatly when it comes to the ability of U.S. children to be healthy and survive to adulthood.
For example, children in the bottom of all the states are three times more likely to die before the age of 14; five times more likely to be uninsured; and eight times more likely to be incarcerated as teens.
The states with the best performance for children are (in order) Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Hampshire, Hawaii, Iowa, Minnesota, Washington, & Maine.
In fact, all 6 New England states made the top 10, making it the best region in America for children.
In Massachusetts. there are 1,458,036 children under age 18.
According to the Fund's report, here is the Bay State's ranking in the categories:

Deaths of infants per 1,000 live births -- #4
Deaths per 100,000 Children Aged 1-14 -- #2
Deaths per 100,000 Teens Aged 15-19 -- #4
Births to Teen Mothers (15-19) per 1,000 Teen Girls -- #3
Births to Women Receiving Late or No Prenatal Care --#6
Children Living in Poverty --#5
Uninsured Children - #11
Juvenile Incarceration Rate (per 100,000) -- #12
Child Abuse Fatalities per 100,000 Children -- #6
Per Capita Child Welfare Expenditures -- #7
Child Vulnerability Index -- #2


To read the entire report, visit: http://www.everychildmatters.org/homelandinsecurity/index_geomatters.html

The Every Child Matters Education Fund (ECMEF) is a 501(c)(3) organization focused on making the needs of children and youth a national political priority and promoting the adoption of smart policies for children, youth, and families-including stopping child abuse, helping working families with child care, expanding pre-school education and after-school programs, and ensuring that children receive good health care.

Support Group: Are You Raising a Child With a Challenging Emotional or Behavioral Issue?

The G.B. Wells Center is introducing a new support group for caregivers (parents, grandparents, foster parents, guardians) raising a child with emotional, behavioral or mental health issues. Meetings are free. Meetinsg are planned for Tuesdays from 7 to 8 p.m. in room 107 at the 29 Pine St site in Southbridge.
All parents, grandparents, foster parents, other relatives, guardians and caregivers are welcome.
The group provides:
* An opportunity to talk about frustrations and successes
* A group to help “trouble shoot” challenges
* A clinician to help with facilitation and answer questions
* Light refreshments
* Occasional guest speakers to discuss topics of interest
* If parents have specific questions or topics these can be explored.

For more information contact Elizabeth Swenson or the GB Wells Center at 508-765-9167

The Middle School Mystery

Listen up, mommies and daddies! For years you’ve been perfecting this parenting thing, getting in the groove with cool stuff to do to entertain and hopefully enlighten your offspring. You’ve scoured the magazines and events calendars for ways to occupy their idle time, but not too much because of course you know that idle time is important to their developing creativity and self-sufficiency. You finally feel confident in your role as a wise and nurturing parent.

And then, Ka-Blam! Suddenly they’re adolescents and the rules change. On the positive side, you don’t have to go to any more Disney movies. But on the down side… well, what do you do when they’re too old for the children’s museum and too young to get a job? The middle school mystery has been looming ever larger in our family this year, particularly over school vacations. An eighth-grader and a fifth-grader just don’t want to do kids activities any more – especially the eighth-grader.

Early adolescence is a conundrum, perhaps best summed up in the title of Anthony Wolf’s classic guide to parenting teens, “Get Out of my Life, but First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall?” Community recreation departments and cultural organizations have largely ceded this age group to the schools. But not every child wants to or has the opportunity to be in a club or on a team. Middle schoolers crave their peers’ companionship, but it’s hard to find space for them to connect with each other while still being connected, even if less intensely, with the adults in their lives.

So it’s time to sit back and enjoy exploring this new territory. The middle school years are a wonderful time to watch your children develop as individuals. Sometimes that means just letting them figure out for themselves what to do with their free time.

You still have several years before your kids give you the pink slip as parent-in-chief. But your job will change, and it might not be a bad time to start adapting your repertoire. Time to start taking the kids to PG-13 movies that you want to see; to invite kids into your activities and interests; to reclaim a bit of your own life! They might not want to come along, but that’s OK too: You don’t need to get a sitter anymore.

Curious George Marathon on PBS Kids Monday

On Monday, February 18th, catch twice the monkey business, twice the learning, and twice the excitement as Curious George stars in his own marathon of back-to-back episodes on PBS KIDS. The special two-hour marathon will include four favorite episodes of George's amazing adventures. "George to George" will air in place of the regularly scheduled PBS KIDS preschool block (check local listings for specific times).
Since its September 2006 debut, Curious George has been the number-one rated weekday children's series on television among kids ages 2-5 years. The half-hour, animated series airs daily on PBS KIDS and is seen by nearly nine million people each week.
Brought to PBS KIDS by Imagine Entertainment, WGBH Boston, and Universal Studios Family Productions, with the support of Curious George publisher Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, Curious George the television series is designed to inspire kids to explore science, math and engineering in the world around them in a fun and entertaining way.
"We're thrilled that George is back for his second President's Day marathon on PBS KIDS," said Executive Producer for Universal Studios Family Productions, Ellen Cockrill. "Well into his second season, George's lovable (mis)-adventures continue to resonate with viewers, and we couldn't be more excited about his phenomenal appeal."
This President's Day weekend, watch as George takes a job in Chef Pisghetti's kitchen, where they experiment with kitchen magic in "Curious George Takes a Job."
In "Ski Monkey," George learns the hard way that deep snow isn't the easiest for a monkey to play in, until he discovers skiing, sledding, and snowshoeing. Chaos ensues in the aisles of the grocery store when George tries to help customers in "George the Grocer," and continues when George learns about broken bones after a museum mishap in "Housebound".
Following these and other monkey adventures, the marathon concludes with "Curious George versus Winter," when George learns why summer isn't the only fun season!
"What better way to kick off the holiday than to watch our curious little monkey get himself into fun predicaments," said WGBH Executive Producer Carol Greenwald. "It's our pleasure to bring kids a double dose of George's math, science and engineering-related mishaps all in one day."In addition to the President's Day marathon, kids can extend their fun with the Curious George Web site (www.pbskids.org/curiousgeorge), which features two new interactive activities. In "I Love Shapes," kids are encouraged by the Man With the Yellow Hat to help George sort items by color and shape as they move down a conveyor belt, and in "Pogo-A-Gogo," George's new pogo stick allows him to jump up and catch objects such as hats, toys, presents, bags and tools, with help from little monkey fans at home.

WEEKEND PICK: Fall Family Festival in Framingham on Sunday

Rain or shine consider spending a day at Garden in the Woods in Framingham at its annual Fall Family Festival from noon to 4 p.m., Sunday, Oct. 14.
The event features crafts, shows, and scavenger hunts for all ages. Meet surprise creatures, and see the "Art Goes Wild" exhibition.
Animal Adventures show at 1 p.m. and Curious Creatures show at 2:30 p.m. Animal shows are first-come/first-served.
Admission is $7 adults, $3 children ages 6-18.
For more information, visit http://www.newfs.org/

Seminar: Children Cope With Divorce

Jewish Family Service will present the seminar, “Children Cope with Divorce,” Monday, Oct. 15 and Tuesday, Oct. 16 from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. at Jewish Family Service, 646 Salisbury Street, Worcester. Admission fee is $65.
It is recommended, evening seminar attendees arrive at 5:15 p.m. due to limited parking.

The program, which has been approved by the Probate and Family Courts of Massachusetts, is designed to help parents help their children deal with the trauma, pain, and turmoil of divorce. It shows parents what their children are feeling, what is happening to them, and gives parents ideas about things they can do to help. The workshops will be led by members of the Family Therapy Team: Amy Colangelo, LICSW, Kathy Kaiser, LICSW, Beth Greenberg, Ph.D., Stephen Slaten, Ph.D. and David Hollis, LICSW.
Participants receive a Certificate of Completion at the end of the second date attended.

Registration is limited to 30 and preregistration is required. To pre-register, call Jewish Family Service at 508-755-3101

Sesame Street to Cultivate Generation of Globally-Responsible Children

Sesame Workshop and Merrill Lynch Partner to Create Multi-lingual Worldwide Interactive Initiative Targeting Children Ages 4-7
Elmo, Big Bird and Oscar are world-renowned, but it’s their new counterparts, “Azibo,” “Athena,” and “Baabra” who are the focus of a new worldwide initiative. Children today live in an increasingly interconnected world full of opportunities and challenges that require them to develop new skills and perspectives. To meet this need, Sesame Workshop, the non-profit educational organization behind Sesame Street, and the Merrill Lynch Foundation have created Panwapa, a Worldwide Kids initiative launching today. NYC Mayor Bloomberg officially proclaimed October 10 as “Panwapa Day."

Panwapa, which means “here on this earth” in the Tshiluba language, aims to foster the foundation for global citizenship and community participation in young children, ages 4 to 7. Featuring an entirely new group of Muppet characters, Panwapa consists of an interactive website, http://www.panwapa.com/, a DVD, and print materials that are available in five languages to children around the world—Arabic, English, Japanese, Mandarin and Spanish.

Beginning today, Panwapa will be available at no charge on iTunes (http://www.itunes.com/) and starting January 2008 Panwapa will be available on free video-on-demand (VOD), via PBS KIDS Sprout, the first and only 24-hour preschool network for kids ages 2-5 and their parents and caregivers. Additionally, Panwapa games and information will be available at http://www.sproutonline.com/. Both media platforms support Sesame Workshop’s and Merrill Lynch’s outreach efforts in reaching as many children as possible.
The Web site, file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/pschmier/Local%20Settings/pschmier/Local%20Settings/Temp/XPgrpwise/panwapa/www.panwapa.com, is the center of the initiative. The experience begins on “Panwapa Island,” a floating island that travels the oceans of the world, where children and their caregivers will enter the virtual Panwapa community and meet newly created Muppet characters such as “Athena the Owl” and “Azibo the Monster.” Children will be able to safely travel around the world and visit with Panwapa kids from other countries, watch interactive movies, learn words in other languages, and collect Panwapa Cards by going on international treasure hunts.
In addition, 200,000 Panwapa educational kits will be distributed to caregivers in the United States, United Kingdom, Japan, China, Hong Kong, Jordan and Mexico to encourage long-term exploration of the issues of global citizenship. The kit includes a DVD, a caregiver magazine with an activity section for children, a board game that reinforces the lessons, and a map of the world to support and complement the Panwapa experience. Local launches in the participating countries will follow the United States launch.
A team of international cultural experts, early childhood researchers, educators and media specialists from nine countries and organizations such as Oxfam, UNICEF, and the World Bank first developed the idea for Panwapa in 2005. Multi-national teams from Merrill Lynch and Sesame Workshop worked with the advisors to create content for the program, focusing on messages of global citizenship for young children.
The international advisory board, led by Dr. Charlotte Frances Cole, Vice President for Education and Research at Sesame Workshop,, developed five broad educational goals for the project:
Awareness of the Wider World: An understanding of the linkages between local neighborhoods and communities and national and global issues.
Appreciating Similarities and Differences: An understanding of and respect for similarities and differences among the people of the world and the interconnectedness of the world’s systems.
Taking Responsibility for One’s Behaviors: An awareness of one’s actions and one’s impact on others, the willingness and desire to take responsibility for one’s actions, and an effort to seek ways to make the world a better place.
Community Participation and Willingness to Take Action: A desire to participate in and contribute to one’s community locally and globally, as well as a willingness to take action around persistent issues and work through them to effect meaningful civic improvement.
Understanding of and Responsiveness to Economic Disparity: An understanding that all people share certain basic needs and disparities in resources affect individuals’ abilities to fulfill these needs -- and a desire to address these disparities.
“21st century children live in the global village from the moment they are born. The sooner they learn to think of this as a wonderful, fun adventure, the better global citizens they will grow into,” stated David Woollcombe, Founder and President, Peace Child International and Panwapa Advisor.

“I am delighted that Sesame Workshop has taken upon itself the task of introducing its young audiences to their global neighborhood: their experience and creativity equips them better than any other organization to ensure that young people all over the world come to view the global neighborhood as a cornucopia of opportunities.”

About Sesame Workshop: Sesame Workshop is the non-profit educational organization that changed television forever with the legendary Sesame Street. As the single largest informal educator of young children, local Sesame Street programs produced in countries as diverse as South Africa, Bangladesh and India are making a difference in over 120 nations. Using proprietary research to create engaging and enriching content, Sesame Workshop produces programs such as Dragon Tales and Pinky Dinky Doo. In addition, multimedia needs-driven initiatives provide families tools for addressing such issues as children’s health, military deployment and emergency preparedness. As a nonprofit, product proceeds and philanthropic donations support Sesame Workshop’s educational research and creative content for children around the world. Learn more at www.sesameworkshop.org.

Coming out...

After so many years of reading about the limiting effects of TV time, the ludicrous infestation of reality TV, and the decline of quality family time, I was hesitant to confess my secret addiction. But today I'm coming out.

I, Kerri Augusto, am a reality TV junkie. And I'm proud of it.

This summer, my addiction has been contagious and my entire family has become hooked on Fox's "So You Think You Can Dance". The benefits of family TV time have not been limited to boisterous cheers and silly bets (though there's lots of that). My children have become acquainted with many different forms of dance: they can recognize a tango, a waltz and a disco routine. They have learned to appreciate a variety of music and have downloaded everything from classical to jazz to hip-hop (clean versions!) on their MP3 players. But most importantly, they have come together.

Last week I watched my son take his sister in his arms and try to waltz across the living room. She was all smiles. This afternoon, they "choreographed" a dance to one of the HS Musical songs. They played nicely for over an hour -- a record for two children who generally can't stand each other for more than ten minutes. Watching my children dance, though not at all graceful, is exquisitely beautiful. And I have reality TV to thank for the experience.

Study: More Moms Want Part-Time Work Schedule

I was reading USA Today this morning and this article caught my eye....

Just when you thought the mommy wars were over, a new study shows the divide has grown over the past decade between employed and stay-at-home mothers.
But the study, released Thursday, also finds one area where both groups concur: Working full time is less appealing than it used to be.
The research, conducted by telephone this past spring by the Pew Research Center, compares the responses of 414 mothers of children under 18 with 457 mothers in 1997 who responded to a similar Pew survey.
Among working mothers, 60% now say part-time work is the ideal situation, compared with 48% in 1997.
Among at-home moms, 48% say staying home is ideal, up from 39% in 1997.
Bureau of Labor Statistics data for 2006, released in May, show only 24% of working moms work part time.
Pew surveyed a total of 2,020 men and women in 2007 about the societal impact of increasing numbers of mothers of young children working: 41% thought it was a bad thing, 32% said it made no difference, and 22% said it was a good thing.
Ten years ago, 38% of at-home moms and 39% of working moms said it was a bad trend. Now, 44% of at-home mothers believe it's bad, while working mothers who believe it's a good trend jumped from 19% in 1997 to 34% today. But 34% of working mothers still believe it's bad.

To read the complete article go to USA Today at:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-07-12-mommy-wars_N.htm


Here at Bay State Parent magazine, we'd love to hear your thoughts on having a career and being a mom. Please post your comments here or e-mail me directly at editor@baystateparent.com

Then, Now and Who Knows?

"Have you ever had a weekend that was so wonderful it felt like a week, Mom?" Kaitlyn asks. She has just returned home from her very first trip away with a friend and now I am watching my daughter mature before my very eyes.
With half of a smile I answer, "Yes, dear, I have." But she isn't listening, she is too consumed with deatails... "And we stayed up talking until midnight...oh, and we went to a dance and five boys asked me to dance with them." She watches my expression. "But, I said no," she adds with a sympathetic smile that tells me she is reading my mind.
I am trying desperately to remember the baby I once held not so long ago, recalling promises I made to be the best mother ever. I had always heard that children eventually grow up, but thinking backto those early years there was no tangible evidence...she was my baby and that was how it was supposed to stay.
Fast forward some fourteen years and here we stand, in the kitchen, talking about boys and dancing. It is now that I realize, I am losing her s-l-o-w-l-y.
"We walked on the beach and ate french fries...I even tipped the waitress!" She smiles. At the very least I have taught her to be respectful.
"Kate, it's going on ten o'clock," I say, faking a yawn. Subconciously, I am trying to persuade her into feeling tired, but it is not working. She has too much to share.
"I even got my picture in the newspaper," she continues. "I was stringing beads onto this bracelet and a reporter asked me if she could take my picture with the store owner looking on..."
I manage, "Boy, you did get to see and do a whole lot."
"And, Mom?"...Well,... I missed you," her voice fades.
Suddenly I'm not so tired anymore. My eyes are stinging though, as I try to hide the tears. "Oh Sweetie," I blubber. "I missed you too...I didn't know what to do with myself...I kept going into your room, but you weren't there...I kept trying to find something to keep me busy and..."
Here is when Kaitlyn yawns. A real yawn that tells me she is beginning to feel the effects of her busy weekend.
I look at her sleepy eyes and am again reminded of the tiny baby who kept me up many nights silently conversing with me through stares and blinks. Those conversations melted my heart then, just as her new ones do now. She is growing up, I tell myself, but she is also taking me along...
"Let's go to bed, Katie," I say. Arm in arm, we head toward the staircase.
Tonight, I am sure, we both will dream of conversations about boys, beaches and frenchfries.

Photographer's Mother's Day Event Benefits Breast Cancer Research

A special event Mother’s Day weekend will give daughters, mothers, and grandmothers a chance to capture their bond with a professional, custom portrait by an award-winning Massachusetts photographer, and to give to breast cancer research at the same time.
The Photography by Teya studio in North Oxford will be open throughout Mother’s Day weekend for “Portraits for Progress.”
For just $20, daughters, mothers, and grandmothers are invited to stop by for a portrait session and receive a professional 5x7 print. Additional 5x7” prints will be available for $10 -- half off their normal price.
“Mothers and daughters share a special bond,” said photographer Teomara (Teya) Rutherford. “Having dealt with breast cancer in my family, I understand how important it is to fight this disease, and to celebrate the bonds between women.”
All proceeds from this event will benefit Komen Massachusetts, the local affiliate of Susan G. Komen for the Cure, and will fund breast cancer research, education, screening and testing.
Walk-ins are welcome, but appointments are encouraged.

To reserve time for a photo session on either Saturday, May 12 or Sunday, May 13 from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. contact contact Photography by Teya at by calling 508-892-0107 or 617-480-6153 or e-mailing teya@teyaphoto.com

To view some of Teya's beautiful photographs visit www.teyaphoto.com/

Get Active & Get Fit!

Inside this month's issue, Dr. Suzanne McLaughlin focuses on ways families can exercise and get fit together. The May FamilyHealth column, suggests ways families can be active in just 10 minutes, 30 minutes, or 60 minutes.
Children bring a lot of energy and curiosity to everyday activities - they don't need exercise equipment or organized sports to get moving, says Dr. McLaughlin. Age-appropriate activities that give them a chance to get moving are the goal: and they carry the same benefits of increased physical activity, she says. "In other words, just running around counts," said Dr. McLaughlin, who is a pediatrician and internist at UMass Memorial Medical Center in Worcester.

Pick up a copy of the May issue of Bay State Parent magazine or read her article and fitness tips online at: www.baystateparent.com/news/2007/0501/Articles/011.html

Parent Time

A few recent news items have me thinking about parenting. The working- mother blame game was heightened, naturally, by the release of the National Institute on Child Development study on long-term effects of time spent in child care. While the study is nuanced and complex, the short version was blared in headlines as “young children who spend a lot of time in group child care may be more verbal but have a slightly higher likelihood of behavior problems in 5th and 6th grade.” Oh, the guilt.

Never mind that I still credit the YMCA child care center for raising my kids. My children attended the center full-time since they were three months old, and instead of shedding tears when I dropped my babies off, I thought to myself, “Thank God they’re with someone who actually knows what they’re doing.” Now in grades 4 and 7, they are healthy, well-adjusted, thriving young people.

Your mileage may vary.

Then, a newspaper column reflected on the value of parental time with children, and how it has changed over the past 40 years. Ironically, while mothers in the 1960s spent more time with their children than now, they weren’t necessarily focused on them. In those halcyon days of June Cleaver, I recall the freedom of roaming the neighborhood as a child, supervised only by a slightly older sibling or friends, while our mothers were in the kitchen (or so we assumed).

No “play dates.” No lessons and structured activities. Most team sports didn’t start till 5th grade, and even then parents rarely showed up for games. Parental child-focused time has actually increased in the past decade or two.

But can there be too much of a good thing with child-focused time?

A National Public Radio commentator discussed the big event taking place in the homes of 17- and 18-year-olds: the arrival of college admission letters. High school seniors are applying to more schools, with more pressure and demographic competition than ever before. And many of them are facing rejection for the first time in their lives.

In all parents’ best intentions, in our attempts to help our children find the best way in life, we forget that life isn’t always rosy. How will a child cope with not getting accepted into the college of his or her choice if we have fought every battle and structured every experience for them? Perhaps a little less intensive parenting, allowing children to find their own way and discover their resilience when things don’t go as planned, is the best gift we can give our children.

Meanwhile, I’ll watch my 4th grader for signs of behavioral problems in the next year or two.

Find Out How to VOLUNTEER Your Time To Help Worthy Causes

Has your family ever wanted to volunteer, but never have the time to do the research?
Visit The Shops at Prudential Center's and The Improper Bostonian's 2nd Annual Volunteer Expo in the Huntington and Belvidere Arcades tomorrow night (Thursday, April 19) from 5:30 to 7:30. This special evening will allow families to be introduced to more than 50 volunteer organizations, including several that help families in need.
Participating organizations include:
AIDS Action Committee of Massachusetts
American Red Cross
Avon Walk for Breast Cancer
Benefit for Kids
Best Buddies
Big Brothers of Massachusetts Bay
Big Sister Association of Greater Boston
Birthday Wishes
Boston Area Rape Crisis Center
Boston Cares
Boston Digital Bridge Foundation
Boston Junior Chamber of Commerce
Boston Partners in Education
Bread & Jams, Inc
Bridge Over Troubled Waters
City Year
Community Servings
Cradles to Crayons
Dress for Success
Earth Works
East End House
Ellis Memorial and Eldregde House
Franciscan Hospital for Children
Generations Incorporated
Habitat for Humanity
Girl Scouts Patriots' Trail Council
The Greater Boston Food Bank
Horizons for Homeless Children
The Home for Little Wanderers
Horizons for Homeless Children
Italian Home for Children
The Jimmy Fund
The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society
Literacy Volunteers of Massachusetts
Little Brothers Friends of the Elderly
Make-A-Wish Foundation
Massachusetts Association for the Blind
Massachusetts Citizens for Children
Metropolitan Boston Housing Partnership
The Miracle Providers of NorthEast
On Your Feet Project
Outdoor Explorations
Parents Helping Parents
Pine Street Inn
Project Bread
Project Joy
Room To Grow
Single Volunteers of Boston Properties
StandUp for Kids
Starlight Starbright Foundation of New England
Susan G. Komen For the Cure
Teen LEEP
Teen Empowerment
The Greater Boston Food Bank
The Volunteer Family (www.thevolunteerfamily.org)
The United Way of Massachusetts Bay
WGBH
ZOO New England

Talking To Tweens and Teens About the Virginia Tech Shooting Tragedy

In the wake of the recent shootings of at least 32 students on the campus of Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, Virginia, mental health experts at Bradley Hospital (www.bradleyhospital.org), the nation’s first psychiatric hospital for children and adolescents, recognize that one of the most difficult tasks a parent has to face is that of talking about tragedy with their children.
This can range from the death of a pet through the death of a family member, all the way to local or national tragedies they see or read about in the news.

“Kids gain mastery through repetition - they may ask repeatedly about the incident to gain understanding--parents and caregivers need to be prepared to answer the same questions over and over and using simple, honest, and age appropriate answers,” says Kelly Chasse, PhD, with the Bradley School in East Providence, RI.
She also suggests that parents stay away from using euphemisms when talking about death.
“Statements such as “resting in peace;” “passed on to another life;" “we lost her;” “she is no longer with us” are not helpful to children and are confusing.
Using the words death or died, although difficult for adults, will be more helpful to kids,” says Chasse.

1. Remember to consider the developmental level of your child: Teenagers understand the concept of death. It is important to provide honest and factual information when talking with teenagers about death. Couch these facts in as warm and supportive a framework as you can; for instance, with reassurances that you are going to be there for them. With teenagers, it is appropriate to give more information than you would a younger child.
2. Invite questions: Even if your teenager seem to understand what happened, remind them that they can ask you questions any time. Many times, teenagers take some time to process tragic events, and will not ask about them until later. Remind them that questions are okay.
3. Expect regression: In the wake of loss or tragic events, many teenagers will regress to earlier behaviors, particularly ones that are associated with comfort, such as seeking favorite toys, or wanting to sleep in the same room with their parents. These behaviors are normal coping mechanisms in the face of tragedy, and are no cause for alarm. Most teens will return to more age appropriate behaviors in 1 - 2 months after the event, and often much more rapidly. However, if these behaviors continue beyond this general time frame, consult your pediatrician. Particular attention should be paid to regressive behaviors that interfere with your teen’s functioning, such as excessive school refusal and sleep or appetite disturbance.
4. Teenagers express grief differently than adults: Teenagers are on their way to becoming adults, but it is important to remember that they are not yet adults. As teens try to make sense out of what has happened and they experience their grief, you may see anger, disobedience, and acting out behaviors. If you see this happening, it helps to sit down with your teenager and talk with them. Give them permission to experience their feelings and encourage them to express their feelings. Let them know that the intensity of feelings they are experiencing will not last forever.
5. Structure helps: One of the things that most help teenagers through tragic loss is a continuity of family structure and tradition. If at all possible, continue to do the things your family usually does - whether these are mealtimes, special games, or involvement in religious or cultural groups. While teens need to have the tragedy acknowledged, they also need to know that the world will go on.
6. Remember your own grief: Often, parents will try to repress their own feelings in order to stay strong for their teenagers. While it may not be helpful to grieve extensively in front of your child, it is very important to take care of yourself, and your own feelings of loss. Teenagers can easily sense when a parent is tense or anxious, and it is important to acknowledge your own pain and loss, and to get whatever help you need.

Finally, remember that tragedy is a part of every life - the job of parents is not to shield their teenagers from tragedy, but to help their teens become resilient enough to survive it. This is not often a job that anyone can do alone, and if you need help, ask for it, from friends, family, clergy, or helping professionals.

Chasse says that parents and caregivers should not be afraid of not having all of the answers.
“It’s okay to say “I don't know:” You are helping your children by letting them talk about their feelings and listening to them.”


Founded in 1931, Bradley Hospital (www.bradleyhospital.org) was the nation’s first psychiatric hospital operating exclusively for children. Today, it remains a premier medical institution devoted to the research and treatment of childhood psychiatric illnesses.

Elmo Helps Kids Cope With Deployed Parents

Over half a million children under the age of 5 are waiting for their active duty, Guard or Reserve, mother or father to come home - the most since World War II. The producers of Sesame Street, along with funding from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, have responded with a television special geared to address the challenges military families face with deployment. This primetime special, hosted by Cuba Gooding, Jr. captures the extraordinary courage and touching vulnerability of both parents and children. In recognition of April as the “Month of the Military Child,” PBS will air a special encore presentation of When Parents are Deployed tonight (April 9).
If you miss the special airing tonight or want to watch it a a more convenient time with your child, the entire program can be viewed online at http://www.sesameworkshop.org/wpad/

The special builds upon Sesame Workshop's recent educational outreach program produced in partnership with Wal-Mart Stores, Talk, Listen, Connect: Helping Families During Military Deployment.
Compelling research illustrates how Sesame Workshop, the non-profit educational organization behind Sesame Street, has been successful in helping children cope with the challenges of military deployment.
In July 2006, Sesame Workshop launched Talk, Listen, Connect: Helping Families During Military Deployment, a bilingual, multi-media outreach kit developed to provide tools and ideas to parents and caregivers on how to help children cope with the process of deployment.
Findings from the survey including a national sample of 367 spouses of active duty, National Guard and Reserves personnel from all five branches of the military (Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and the Coast Guard), indicated that after four weeks of exposure to the kit:
* More than 80 percent of families rated the kit as highly appealing, effective, and comprehensible for adults and children.
* Families expressed increased comfort levels in helping children cope with current and future deployments by utilizing suggestions and strategies from the materials.
* Parents reported feeling less depressed and hopeless.
* Families reported that their children exhibited fewer negative behaviors and an increase in constructive family interactions about deployment.
“The evaluation data strongly supports that parents appreciate and want resources on how to support their young children during deployments. I am so pleased that Sesame Workshop undertook this effort to support military parents of young children, and I am especially pleased that careful evaluation was part of the effort from the very beginning,” stated Shelley MacDermid, Ph.D., co-Director of the Military Family Research Institute at Purdue University. “The thoughtfulness with which the developers sought guidance from researchers and other experts as the materials were constructed was instrumental to their success, and today’s findings speak for themselves.”
The Talk, Listen, Connect materials include a DVD for children and adults featuring the Muppets from Sesame Street; a poster for children; and a magazine for children, parents and caregivers that addresses the challenges and concerns experienced during various phases of deployment (pre-deployment, deployment and homecoming).


The kits were distributed to military families by The Department of Defense through Military OneSource various outlets at no cost.
In just the first two weeks of distribution, more than 100,000 requests for kits were received and interest continues each day.
The Talk, Listen, Connect kits are also available online at www.sesameworkshop.org/tlc, where streaming video is being provided by The Department of Defense Quality of Life Information Technology Center.

Kids Take Webkinz Rumors to Heart

When I picked my fourth-grade son up after school last week, he had news for his little sisters. They hurried along to keep up with their long-legged brother – his words came as fast as his stride. Webkinz World was under attack, he said. A virus was spreading through the website that could kill their Webkinz. Forever. Yes, he was sure. No, they wouldn’t be able to reactivate the pets. Everyone was talking about it. Kids who really knew what they were talking about when it comes to Webkinz, he said.

Naturally, my daughters (ages 4 and 6) were visibly traumatized to think that something could happen to their special “pets.” In just a few months, they have gotten attached to their Webkinz. Having that link with the virtual pets on Webkinz World – feeding them, taking them to the vet, setting up rooms for them – has increased their attachment to the Webkinz stuffed animals they carry around with them. Taking care of the pets in the virtual world makes them seem just a little more real than the other stuffies that fill their room. (www.webkinz.com)

So hearing that something was out to destroy their pets was upsetting, to say the least.

They cornered my husband as soon as he walked in the door that night. They knew he’d get to the bottom of it quickly, and it didn’t take much digging on his part. Right there on the Webkinz World homepage, there is a corner called “Webkinz Bulletinz.” Apparently, the tall tale didn’t start in our small town’s elementary schools after all.

The website assures users that Webkinz World is “a safe, happy and fun place to play” and that the stories are just rumors.

“Many people have been writing in, asking about a rumor that is going around,” the message states. “The rumor is about something in Webkinz World hurting Webkinz pets. The most important thing to know is that this rumor is not true at all. Nothing in Webkinz World would ever hurt your Webkinz pets.”

My husband was the hero of the day when he gave them the straight story.

But it’s hard for young children to truly understand the difference between the virtual world and the real one. They know their Webkinz will get sick if they don’t feed them every few days and put them to bed before they log off the site. That’s part of the system. The kids play games to earn money to take care of their pets. If they don’t take care of them, they don’t stay healthy and happy. If they get sick, according to the logic of my daughters, then why can’t they die? The fact that it’s all make-believe doesn’t factor into their thought process. They needed it explained. A couple of times.

The part that was hard for them to understand? Why anyone would want to scare them like that.

And that’s one question I had no good answer for.

Arthur-Famed Author/Illustrator Takes on Childhood Obesity

Famed childhood authors Rosemary Wells (Max & Ruby) and Marc Brown (Arthur) have teamed up to tackle the family obesity problem in this country through a new children's book The Gulps. About 60 million Americans, or 30% of the adult population, are considered obese by the U.S. government. Since 1980, overweight rates have doubles with children and triples with teens, according to the Center for Disease Control. Statistically, 45 out of every 100 elementary-aged children are overweight or obese. Created over dinner on the Vineyard, the book is written by Wells, a Connecticut resident and self-proclaimed vegetable addict. In fact, one of her daughters is a chef and the other is an organic farmer. Illustrated by Brown, the book tells a tale of an overweight family off for a roadtrip. The plump, sedentary family, with the exception of the youngest daughter, packs the car with cartons of junk food and even stops at a drive-thru fast food restaurant for a snack. The Gulps adventure hits a roadblock when the car refuses to go. The youngest child declares the family is just to fat to roll. A friendly farmer family invites the Gulps to stay at their home and have dinner - vegetable fare. The family is horrified but through a series of more mishaps in the farm and at a country fair, the Gulps learn that exercise and healthy foods make for more family fun. The book is an innovative way to tackle nutrition and obesity with children in preschool & kindergarten.
The hardcover book will hit bookstores this week, (Little Brown Young Readers, $16.99). The book can be ordered online at www.amazon.com or www.barnesandnoble.com

I posed questions to Brown about his new book with Wells, his beloved Arthur character, and his love of Massachusetts inside the March issue of Bay State Parent magazine.

Parent: How do you think The Gulps can help to combat this country's childhood obesity problem?
Marc: "We hope that by reaching young children, perhaps it will help them think early on about the choices they are making."
Parent: Truthfully, what is your junk food of pleasure?

To find our Marc's answer and to read more of the interview visit: http://www.baystateparent.com/news/2007/0301/Articles/013.html