Some mothers and sisters bring food...

When my sister gets home from work today, she's either going to be happy or totally ticked off.

Some mothers and sisters bring food when they visit one another, we just seem to clean.

I tend to find it insulting when my mom and sister come to visit me and they can't resist scrubbing or sweeping something. Why can't they just relax and enjoy the kids? Can't we just visit?

I also think, "What? Is my house so disgusting that you simply can't relax?"

I know this isn't true, but I can't help feeling a little defensive. No matter how hard my husband and I take care of our house, there's mom and sis to find the lingering cobwebs. Makes me cranky!

So, why am I doing this to my sister?

It's not payback as in "I can find plenty to clean at your house too!"

It really isn't.

It's about a need, a compulsion, to help out, to make things easier on my hard-working sister.

I look around, and I see the areas where she could use a helping hand. We all have those areas, and for some reason, I get super-motivated, all energized about vacuuming and dusting her house.

As I write, my mom is literally on her hands and knees, cleaning floors, humming. She's in her glory.


It's different for my dad. When he visits, he always has a tool or paintbrush in hand, and no one gets insulted. He is hardwired to tinker and fix. He shows his love through working in our homes. He likes it better than conversation, then playing with the kids, than just about anything.

So, sis, when you get home from work today, please don't be mad, especially when you see that Dad took apart your entire toilet (hosting a constant house-full of boys is really taking a toll on your toilet, sis!).

It's just following in Dad's footsteps, I guess. It's just how our family shows love, not shortcomings.